"The desert is about loneliness…"
This phrase, taken from The
Valkyries, by Paulo Coelho, struck me immensely. I know I struggle with
loneliness from time to time, and it seems so silly because I am really not
alone. But it is more of a feeling than a choice, and so I sometimes cannot
prevent my heart from feeling that way… but I can take it with open arms and
turn the suffering and struggle into a growing experience. If I cannot do that,
what good would I have taken out of suffering? And what good would it have been
going to the desert? Or is it better to choose not to go? The challenge is
choosing to go to the desert.
Because… the desert is about loneliness…
When I think about traveling, I am scared of being alone.
Knowing I will meet people helps a little, but meeting people does not always
mean developing true friendships. Traveling is sometimes like going away from
everything I know, seeking peace, seeking growth. Sometimes traveling is a
retreat. Sometimes it’s meant to be a
desert. It’s meant to put me aside, and leave me, alone, so that I can
reflect and come closer to God.
It is not that pretty to think of traveling and other
experiences in our lives as a desert, because mostly, the desert takes form in
things we run away from, and which hold a sadder, more estranged image in our
minds. Most people would think of traveling as fun, and not as a way of getting
away from people and the world, just as most people don’t think of traveling to
the desert, away from comfort and civilization. The beauty lies perhaps in
choosing to go into the desert of our lives, to be taken apart for a moment, to
feel the empty spaces in our hearts, so we call fill them up only with God.
That’s what retreats are about sometimes… deserts and loneliness.
