Some Reflections at the Canal of St. Martin

I wish that I could see much more. But instead I see this dirty, smelly city. In a way, I wish I would know more of its stories, of its secrets, of its genuine charm. I've chained myself in my ways of thinking, and it's been long since I de-romanticized my view of the so-called "City of Lights".

I see the people of the city, having breakfast, lunch, and supper at their little brasseries. I see them on their squares and by the Seine and the canals, drinking wine and beer, eating bread and cheese. Smiling, talking away, making out. Sometimes I just want to be an observer. Sometimes a feeling of discomfort and unpleasantness takes over me, and I don't want to participate. "I don't want to live this life, I don't want to live this way" - I tell myself, even though no one is pushing me to do it, to go participate. I want to meet people, I want to socialize, I want to learn how people live here. But at the same time I'm overcome by this somber feeling of fatigue. It's tiring investing in people, especially when you're the outsider and you're trying to break into a group. People have no interest in you, and they don't want to bother. There have been times in my life when I've had to fight this very same feeling, and as I grow older and experience it over and over again, it becomes harder rather than easier to open my heart and open my mouth to start a new conversation. So I just walk, quietly, to discover a new corner in Paris I haven't seen.

I read there was this romantic canal in Paris called St. Martin. Maybe if I was with my loved one I would think or feel it was romantic. But all I see is this filthy concrete canal with metal, exaggeratedly arched bridges. The buildings on either side look common and unimpressive. I've tried not to expect too much of Paris in fear I would be disappointed. But this time I decided to take the adjective "romantic" at face value and it hasn't been true to its respective noun.

Other days I've walked through "common" streets and been surprised. I gaze at 150 year-old "hidden" buildings, and I'm awed by the amazing architecture. I wish I knew more about the styles - I'm learning some... I've learned a little about Baltard, Hausmann, the Belle Epoque... and I want to learn more... I imagine Paris, France in its more glorious days, or in the so-called Belle Epoque and I sincerely believe that Parisians have a treasure of a city. There is so much art, so much beauty, so many vestiges of history that you can still see and touch all around the city. But then, in a more global comparative perspective, I think about Mexico in the 1800s. Why do we not have 200 year-old beautiful buildings? Why do we not have feudal castles and centuries-old churches? Why are there no palaces?

I feel proud after realizing that we would have centuries, millenniums-old temples if the Spaniards hadn't destroyed many of them. And who would occupy themselves in building beautiful monuments and buildings when they were busy fighting for their independence? Then, independence wasn't sufficient for peace, and Mexicans had to fight invasions from the north (the U.S.) and the east (France) in the middle of the 19th century. Architecturally, the most "sophisticated" construction pieces in my hometown of Tampico are some New Orleans-inspired balconies brought from Europe at the turn of the 20th century that adorn the buildings surrounding the main plaza downtown (Plaza de Armas). Not many people know about these, and they are certainly not one of the most impressive features of Tampico.

Then I return to the canal St. Martin. In my eyes, it's neither beautiful nor impressive, and I realize that maybe that's why it's so full of Parisians instead of tourists.

What do I need to do to become an Au pair?

There is not one cookie-cutter combination that fits all people who want to become an Au pair, but I would suggest these general steps:


1. Read about it

Yes, there is no better way to start your journey than by gathering information. The first thing you need to do is know what being an Au pair is all about. Start with general information, google it, and go beyond googling it! Read about what Au pairs do, look for testimonials, try to answer all the questions you have by searching for them. How much are they paid? What is their job? What do I have to do to become one? Also, if you already think this is something you might be interested in, find out what is required to go to your target country. Each country's regulations are different, so investigate particularly how the visa works between your home country and the place where you want to go (and check if they have a special visa for Au pairs).

2. Talk to people

This is often underestimated. Talking to people who have gone through that experience is incredibly helpful. If you don't know any one who has been an Au pair, you can always contact me and ask me anything you want. Or you can also leave a comment, and I will try to answer as much as I can.

3. Decide if it's the right thing for you

Going to a foreign country, learning a language, and getting paid for it may sound pretty cool at first, but when you realize being an Au pair is not a game, you might change your mind.  Doing an Au pair year (or more) is an amazing experience, but it isn't for everyone. It requires a lot of determination, perseverance, patience, and most importantly, responsibility. If all you want to do is party everyday and not worry about your duties, you might consider being an exchange student instead... especially since they don't have to nanny!

4. Start looking for a family, and find one!
You can go different ways here. First, you could go through an agency. Some charge both the Au pairs and the families, and others only charge the families. It depends on which country you're coming from, and which country you're going to, so you have to investigate what is available to you in your country. There are also online agencies available. The second option is looking for a family directly. There are websites, like findaupair.com where you can make a profile and pay to see for the contact info of the families. I'm sure there are other free sites that allow you to find families directly. Sometimes finding the right family takes time, so make sure you started your search with plenty of time. I would suggest to start some 6 months ahead.

5. Choose you family carefully - or be chosen!

Once you start contacting different families, or they have contacted you, ask important questions. What do I mean by this? Well, ask what specific benefits you will be receiving, and what specific responsibilities will be expected of you. For example: Will they pay your language course, or part of it? Will they give you a cellphone? How many hours a week will you work? What is the schedule you'll have? Will you need to clean after the kids? Will you need to do laundry, or other house chores? This is important because all of these thing depend on the family. Some require you to do a lot of house chores, where as others want you to focus only on the children. Some will pay for you classes, and others will pay for part of it, or not at all, and so on.  Some families will pay you a little more than the average, or give you a raise in the middle of the year if they really like you. But like I said, each family is different and those deals are separate than what the actual general responsibilities of the Au pair are. Make sure to reflect upon what is asked on you, and try to imagine yourself doing this for the time of your stay. Think about if it's something you'll enjoy - and hopefully learn from!
I strongly recommend skyping with the family, if you don't have skype, you should get one! Try to get the family to let you talk to the children, and if possible, chat with a webcam. Try to develop your relationship with the family way before the time of your trip.
Essential: ask the family to send you a copy of the contract! It is very important to go over it and make sure you understand it well.

6. Start the paperwork

This sometimes takes several months, so that's why I recommend starting to look for a family ahead of time so that you still have enough to get all your paperwork done. In step number one I mentioned it's important to find out about how to get a visa. Very soon, I will be posting specifically on the steps for getting an Au pair visa for Germany (which is how I personally did it). So stay in tune! Once you have confirmed with the family that you'll be going with them, and when your date of arrival will be, buy your ticket. Try to but you plane ticket (if you're flying) a good two months ahead if possible. Tickets are a lot cheaper if you buy them ahead of time, and in case you didn't know, Summer tickets are especially outrageously expensive - so search for flights with time so that you don't have to rush and buy something really expensive. If you search well, you can find pretty good deals!


7. Pack your things and start the adventure!

There is nothing more exciting than the beginning of a journey (except for maybe the end of it - but that is arguable!) Try not to take so much stuff with you, because you will accumulate along the year. Do take the most essential things: a variety of clothes; from a good thick coat if you're traveling somewhere cold, to a few pairs of shorts if you're going somewhere warm. Try to take a little bit of everything.



And good luck!




Upcoming posts:

Beware of scams my dear Au pairs, sitters, and nannies! More about these kinds of scams...
How to go to Germany as an Au pair: visa, legal paperwork and more...!

Go for your dreams, even if they are far, like Germany

Ten minutes before my flight I was racing across a terminal in the Frankfurt Airport. I ran in a straight line, but the hallway seemed like a labyrinth before my eyes. My heart thundered, scared that I would not get home after being exactly one year, one month and one week in Europe. Memories about this adventurous, enriching and long year went through my mind. I hear the clock ticking in my head. I felt like play-dough, as if I was being shaped in so many ways, feeling my head was being squeezed between a thumb and an index. I had this one last test to pass before going home. Did I make it? First, I will begin with how I got there.


I started learning German when I was 15. It was a small class, taught by a lady from Northern Germany who transmitted her love toward her Fatherland. I soon fell in love with the country, with an organized an specifically structured language, a breathtaking history, an amazing landscape, a modern infraestructure, a unique culture, and incredibly disciplined people. Aside from the private German classes, I was taking French at school, and although this made it more challenging, I always thought an exta language could do no harm. Of the two, German was the hardest and if I ever wanted to be fluent, I had to learn it firsthand.

My dream has always been to travel. When I turned 16, I discovered it was not impossible if I had the necessary tools. Knowing that my parents would not be able to pay for my trip, I worked every summer to finance my adventure. I did some research and found out I could go as an Au-pair, or nanny. This way, I could learn German in the mornings and work in the afternoons. At the same time, I would immerse myself in the culture by living with a native family.

Germany gave me the opportunity to rediscover myself. I was too busy during high school, that I had left my hobbies behind. In Frankfurt, I went back to writing poems and short stories, and to reading books for the pleasure of it, something I had not done since junior high. The year went by much slower than my high school years altogether. It was worse than I expected, yet better than I could have ever imagined. Worse, because I experienced loneliness the way I never thought I would. I missed my family and friends even when I said I would not waste my time doing it. Better because each day was so unforgettaby vivid. Everything was beautiful. The friendship and love I experienced were so real, they were incomparable. Both good and bad experiences struck me intensely, and at the end of the year I realized loneliness and people were the two things that taught me the most.

I remember trying to learn how to ski in the Austrian Alps; drinking coffee at a Dunkin Donuts, the most familiar place to me in the city of Duesseldorf; walking by the port of Hamburg, which reminded me of my home port city; gazing at Berlin's museums, seeing through my own eyes these things of which I had only seen pictures in my history books. All of these things I did alone. For some reason or another, the friends I made could not make it to any of these trips. I spent weeks surrounded by people, yet having no one to talk to. Nevertheless, this gave me strength and peace, and made me think about my future and my dreams. I learned loneliness is precious and inspiring; it made creative and allowed me to listen to my heart.

Germany was a dream come true, full of great surprises as well as unpleasant ones, like missing trains and flights, or being trapped in a subway on a New Years Eve in Paris. Each day was an adventure, and the last adventure was coming back home. So did I catch my flight? I made it exaclty on time, after having to buy a new ticket. How? This is where the people I met made an impacting difference in my life. There is an old saying that says you should count your friends with your fingers, meaning that there are only a few people throughout your whole life that will be your true friends. My friends took me to the airport that day, and they paid for my ticket when I was told my original one was invalid. They were at my side during my last adventure and if it were not because of them, I would not have made it.

I am an adventurer and a dreamer. I dream about traveling, learning languages and understanding cultures. Even when others do not believe my dreams will come true, I have to believe in myself. Many did not believe me when I said I was going to Germany, but I was determined to make it, as unreachable as the dream seemed to be.