Monday, November 18, 2013

Tears of the Sky - 2

This is the other side/ second part of a story I wrote a long time ago (2004-2005). I wanted to put both stories side by side, but I can't find the original "Tears of the Sky". I will post it as soon as I find it. I hope you enjoy it, and please let me know what you think! All comments are welcome.

The sky did not stop crying. 

I sat on the mud, with my thighs pressed against my chest, my knees kissing my cheeks. My eyes shot toward infinity in the grandness of the canyon. I was sitting on the edge of this vastness, staring at everything and nothing, eyes glaring of emptiness because they could not absorb any of the beauty before me. All of the vagueness of the world sat there with me, lensing my view as a blur. It was as if I had been there before many times, and yet the unfamiliarity took grasp of me because I knew I had suddenly appeared there. It wasn’t a truly physical form of my body which sat by the canyon. It was my soul, a childish, young, hopeful, and innocent one, as clear and unreal as a vision. It was the one who lived long ago. In this look-out post, I could feel the immensity of the canyon. I could see all the paths and possibilities. I could hold my arms out and know there was freedom beyond the one step down the cliff. But no, I sat wrapping my knees with my arms. As much as I hated to admit, I didn’t want to let go. I was scared. What the world had promised turned out to be … a lie. But hey, I had so many dreams, so many hopes. I had not given up. I was holding onto my life. All the things I could do if I lived! All the joys, all the smiles. Now, if I wanted, I could dance around under the rain, say to the sky it’s tears of happiness I’m crying.

Then a gloomy figure came from behind like a shadow. I saw his face and I understood. I knew it was me. Me, me, me with that falling face, walking around like a zombie. I wanted to say stop! But I could not speak. He approached the edge and for a moment I knew all I was about to lose. But I was innocent! I still felt like a child inside. I had goodness in me, I was happy… I could be happy… and I was still alive. Before the young man’s last step I grabbed his hand and pulled him back. His eyes shot back, puzzled. That he didn’t know someone would care surprised me. Who wouldn’t stop him? But his eyes said that he had not expected a reaching hand. That’s how much he thought of himself. He kneeled beside me on a puddle as I drew him closer to me. I knew this phantom in this tiny child figure was not going to last long, since I could feel my fingers loosing grasp, like little tickles at the tips. I cried. I cried as much as I needed, until my eyes would bleed. I cried for all the people I would let down, for those who cared, for those who would be left with the burden of my departure. I hoped this man would understand, and through my tears shout the unfairness of the deal.  He would kill hopes and dreams, and that eager child who played out on the streets would never make it as far as he had set himself to go. And so I cried blood to spare blood shed for nothing. I hugged him, my arms as an extension of a rope saying; “hold on tight, don’t lose your life, don’t lose your grasp”. But I could feel I was fading away. I was drifting into nothingness again, to the past where I belonged. Alas, my task was done, and I think I saw a smile as I left his eyes. They were crying too, like the sky. As I drizzled away, I said to myself, “tears of joy, oh sky cry with!” and so it did.